Ghosts of Boyfriends Past: The Author

You didn't think I was going to pull through with this post, did ya?

Well I did. Here we go...
Girls, I think you will agree with me on this one. A bartender is either your best friend, your worst enemy or a little bit of both. Especially a male. Cute, friendly, talkative and knows how to pour a stiff drink… that’s a dangerous combo.

For a few months I frequented a bar and came to know a few of the bartenders. Sitting at the rail I had  first dibs on all of the “mess up drinks” Some how they always ended up being really delicious shots.

Coincidence, I’m sure.
I got to know this guy. 
We will call him.... The Author.

 Sweet, confident and had a way with words. He had recently published his first book.
Impressive, right?

He was forward and interesting. The Author asked me out. His plan was to take me out for dinner and then go to his friends house to use their hot tub.

Okay? But… I can roll with the punches.

Dinner was fine, honestly I don’t even remember where we went, but I remember he talked about his book. A LOT. A lot of things about leadership and honesty. Topics he proved to know much about. 

Oh… and brewing his own beer. He was all about that.

So we made it to the hot tub, I put my suit on and climbed into the bubbling tub.
It was all very innocent. Talking, laughing… yeah that’s about it.

I wish I could tell you more, but the only steam was from the cold air hitting our skin.

We continued to see each other for the next week or two… honestly I can’t remember details.
It was that good.

Things began to fizzle… until one night he called me and was adamant about coming over to hang out. 

A few beers, a good little make-out session and then he had to go. Really? I was thoroughly confused.  
The next day he came-a-knocking.

“Umm… We need to talk.”

Here we go:

“So… I have a girlfriend.”

Me- “Oh good….”

“ I don’t think we can do this anymore. But I want you to know that I think you’re so great….I had a lot of fun....”

Are you kidding me? Yeah please explain to me how awesome I am after telling me you have a girlfriend. 

So naturally he felt terrible and then we never talked again.

Great way to end the story right? Honestly, I wish there was more drama... like his gf sent me a nasty FB message or somehow found out where I worked... but no. He just made the honest mistake of making out with a girl that wasn't his girlfriend. 
Happens all the time, right?

Okay.. The Moral:


Keep them at arms length. They can lead to liver failure, bad decision making and unrealistic expectations of alcohol-to-mixer-ratio. I'm not advising you or un-advising you to stay away from bartenders because let's face it... They are good people to have on your side. 

Me being one of them... of course. 

Happy Weekend! What are your plans?


Nobody said...

OH MY GOSH - I live for these stories!! LOL. Okay, so... he seriously spent all this time mackin' on you when he had a girlfriend? If my bf was a bartender I would be there ALL THE TIME. Where was she? Plus, I def would have pulled out the "honesty/loyalty/leadership" card on him after that. I do NOT get where guys think they can do this crap. UGH.

So shay said...

WHAT A TYPICAL DUDE! I swearrrrr. I always love your stories! AND I will NEVER keep you at arms length. I will keep you forever by my side ;) (I got no sleep last night so please forgive me if I'm coming on to strong! hahahaha) Love you!

Emily said...

Men I tell you. At least you figured it out sooner rather than later and girl there are some good ones out there I promise. Not bartenders..men haha

Whitney @ EHFAR said...


One time I was hanging out with one of my friends (I fhink he liked me more than I liked him, even though latervI realized I liked him but a little too late). We lived 3 hours from each other. We spent the night together and slept inthesame bed but NOTHING happened. After I left the next day. I get a call from his GIRLFRIEND! I had NO idea and plus I was crushed, because I knew we would never be allowed to talk again. Almost 8 monts later, she messages e on MySpace to call her. I ignore it. He messages me and tells me to call her. I do. She asks the same questions that she did 8 months ago. I kept telling her that nothing happened, because it was the truth. I guess she still was thinking about it during that time. CRAZY!!


Tiffany said...

Men are STUPID! I mean seriously....2 weeks & then "Oh I have a girlfriend"! Isn't that something you should have mentioned the day we met not after making out with me on my couch! HA I swear. Guy bartenders seem to be pretty terrible at that stuff....the girls...yeah we just flirt for the money not the "honey".

Raquel said...

Oh god...the same thing happened to me too, except he wasn't an author or a bartender haha. BUT we hung out, had fun, blah blah blah. We were even holding hands. He never told me he had a girlfriend though... I found out the worst way possible...running into his girl friend while we were holding hands, awkwarddddddd.

Anonymous said...

When did this all go down?

Anonymous said...

Well Anonymous, Let me answer that question for you... It all " went down" in 2010. Why it is now being blogged about will forever remain a mystery.

Helly Di Duca said...

Thats life... a couple of rats later you will find Mr Right and when you have found him your will be asking 'Is he Mr Right?' relationships are a mystery that will never be solved.

Rissy said...

Well I'm a psycho and would have been like "oh yea dipshit? well I'm telling her what you did." except then I wouldn't have said anything at all because I'm also too logical and a little bit of a chicken-shit. I mean excuse me, but I refuse to mess up my karma because you suck.

Can you please write more of these. I'm also too chicken-shit to do so.


mostafa said...
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mostafa said...
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