12/8/11

Ghosts of Boyfriends Past: Tippy

Week number two of Ghosts of Boyfriends Past.
This is a story I think you will enjoy.

Photobucket
(Spokane readers: look familiar?)
We like to call him Tippy.


I have to admit I have a thing for musicians. I like a man that can carry a tune. What's so wrong with that?

Let's start from the beginning. Tippy was SO cute. Guitar in hand, singing sweet love songs and a bright white smile. (Do we see pattern here ladies?)

Mr. Tippy asked me out, so... of course I said...."Only if you take me to Froyo"

We spent about thirty six minutes drowning ourselves in cake batter goodness, then headed back to my place. Yeah... don't judge me.

Kissing began. 


And then..... it happend:
No, Not IT
But this: Tippy Asked:
Have you ever had sex?
Me: Ummm Yeah. Have you?
Tippy: Yeah, totally.
Me (in my head); You are SO a virgin. 
Tippy: So.....
......
...
Do you wanna try just the tip?

Me: Laughing and thinking of THIS

And then I realized... he wasn't quoting a movie.
Shit.
Tippy: Did I say something wrong?
Me: Ummm... maybe. I'm not sure how you expected this to happen?

People, All clothes were ON. There wasn't even a boob grab. How did he expect to get the tip IN?!
Wow... I'm sorry, mom, I know this is graphic. But you must understand... we were fully clothed. 
There was NO WAY that tip was going in. 
So, we parted ways...
With an awkward hug and a questionable goodbye..
"Are you mad?"
Me:"no.. not mad...ummm..."
"Should I go?"
Me: "Yeah, probably."

Friends... that is awkward. Holy Hell. What man asks to put just the Tip in? 
I was reaaaally hoping that he was just kidding. 
But no... the boyfriend gods  grant me with another dud. 
Thanks a-million. 
I hope he gets a lot of views. 

And that my friends,


Was Just The Tip. 


33 comments:

Jess - PrettyPhysicist said...

hahaha. OMG, that was so funny! I must say, some of my exes were virgins, but they were never quite THAT awkward ...

Young and Fabulous said...

I CANNOT BREATHE!!!

i am dying...lol OMG

tippy mc tipper...who the hell would EVER say that to a girl!!! i love that you were like "ummm, yeah probably"

ps I just posted a very fitting song to your facebook wall lol

xoxox

Courtney said...

That is like something out of 40 year old virgin! I can't believe this happened to you in real life!! Hilarious!

rkjalernpan said...

This is out of a movie. I think you should turn this series into a screen play!

Anna said...

So funny. And awkward.



Does just putting the tip in let him keep his virginity or something?

dottie said...

Uhhhhh.

Who asks that?!?

The tip? Oh man.

This one is for the records.

Thanks for the laugh. Still laughing...bahahaha!

shay said...

i.am.dying.

that is SO super ultra AWKWARD! yet hilarious... and wrong in every way...

and i loved reading every minute of it...

thanks for sharing sista!

arianapia said...

best.story.ever

Ashley said...

LMAO!

Oh, Sabrina! You have the best stores, girlfriend!

bahahahaha - still laughing and thinkin' for reals...did that really happen! geeezz my belly hurts! :p

Lauren said...

Hahahahahahahaa! I can not stop laughing!!! Oh my gosh lol?? I can't believe that happened! You're so funny! I love this series!

Mrs.B said...

hahahahahahahaha... oh my goodness!! This is hilarious. I can't believe he'd ask that, though.

Chelsea Coleen said...

o......m.g. is this real life??? hahaha i am so living vicariously through you. i have had 2 boyfriends in my entire life. and one of them is still my boyfriend. hehe. BORING

Caitlin said...

I'm totally sitting on campus avoiding studyig for my next final an trying not to laugh my ass off like a crazy person. It's not really working. This is SO incredibly awkward! Is it bad that I'd rather not date a virgin just to avoid awkwardness like this? Holy eff. Can't het over the awkwardness. PLEASE keep these posts coming!

Mrs Spanglish said...

OMG! I laughed so hard... so awkward!!!! i kinda feel bad for the guy though.

Keri said...

I am LOVING this series! Makes me think about all the ridiculous dates I have gone on. But I would have to say this story def takes the cake.

Shalyn said...

I love you.

And sadly all I could think about when you said Tippy was my Rat Terrior puppy I had growing up.

Awkward! Hahaha.

This series rocks. Love it!

Rebeka said...

Ohhhh how awkward!! I would have just died. And I also would have made him leave, because like, WHO ASKS THAT? He should be socially savvy enough to KNOW that's not an appropriate thing to ask someone. Even if you were naked (which you weren't) it still isn't appropriate (because you a. just go for it or b. ask for the real thing in normal people world). Awkward awkward awkward! HA!

also thank you for sharing!

Kodi said...

hahahaha OMG, you seriously just made me almost fall out of my chair at work! Sooooo funnnny!

Thanks for sharing:)

Ashleigh said...

OMG. what an idiot! this seriously cracks me up- he should be horrified and embarrassed...

Ashleigh said...

OMG. what an idiot! this seriously cracks me up- he should be horrified and embarrassed...

Taylor said...

What's wrong with that? I thought that is how you do it? am I doing something wrong? Fuck!

AllyM said...

hahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaa. This is hysterical. I'm so enjoying your blog right now. This story takes the cake though.

xoxo
ally

Bon Bon said...

ohhhhh.my.word. I just might have to show my husband this, for a good laugh. Poor poor Tippy. xoxo

Raquel said...

Ohhh my god! ahhhahhahahahhaha i'm laughing so hard right now!

Erin said...

Sweet jesus! You cannot make this stuff up! High five for not laughing straight in his face!

Poor tippy.

Alyssa said...

Oh my gosh! I can't believe someone would even say that! Clearly, he's still a virgin.

Carrie said...

Seriously dying over here! Hilarious. Tippy.

Stephanie said...

OMG was he serious?!

BTW-totally wasn't expecting to read all of this XXX material from you! ;) No judgment...at all.

rinniez said...

bahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! all i can say :) xx

Rissy said...

bahahahaha wow I love this series

oh Sabs... the awkwardness...

I almost feel bad for the kid

Rebecca said...

omg I cant believe he had the courage to ask that!

Dayna Leigh said...

This post had me ROLLING in work...how dang awkward is that?!

Rachel said...

Just finding your blog through the vlog you did with Raven. I have just read the entire ghosts of boyfriends past series and let me just say you are genius. The funniest series I have ever read and this post had me crying I was laughing so hard!
I needed a laugh like that today. So thank you! haha

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