Ghost of Boyfriends Past: Old Boat

Let me introduce to you another experience with alternate transportation.... This is Old Boat:

No, he's not a contestant on the the bachelorette... but how awesome is this shot for his profile?

Let's get a little bit of background...

Single is something that takes a little getting used to. After being in a relationship for over a year with Mr. Tequila Train comments like "are you OKAY" and "I promise it will get better" are simply a buzz in my ear. My only response being: I'M FINE. REALLY. You can only avoid people for so long before they feel bad for you and start trying to set you up so you won't be alone in the nursing home (The great words of Patty from Millionaire Matchmaker)

It's not like I was lonely. I had friends and I had guy friends that would fulfill my flirting needs. But dating just really wasn't a priority of mine after a long hard breakup.

But you know what? I was ready. I was ready to go out on a date, have a good time... and if nothing else eat a nice meal and maybe a beer or two. So who better to take advice from than my most recent ex boyfriend! Yeah, of course he knows the perfect guy for me.

 I might have been on drugs. 
Who would do this to themselves? 

I proceed with the blind-ish date. (I had met him once, briefly)
He picks me up and we head out to a secret location.
I already know we are going to a nearby town....
It's really pretty in the summer and I'm a really good guesser.

And then I killed it. 
I asked/stated:
Me: "Please don't tell me we are going on a cruise....?"
OldBoat: "Uhhh why? do you get sea sick?"
Me: "Maybe..."

Here is the thing. I am SO appreciative the he spent the time/money/effort to take me out on this mini voyage, but once we walked toward the dock, we boarded the Fair Maiden along with the other couples. The only difference was we were about 30 years younger than EVERYONE.

I wasn't even on the boat and I wanted to jump ship.

Boy oh boy. That's mean, I know. 
Let me give you the highlights:

1.Alcohol was not inclusive in the price of the cruise
2. It was a 30 minute drive just to get there. 
3. Sitting with other old couples and they don't say a WORD to us. 
4. The cruise was 3 hours
5. The food was cold
6. Did I mention I didn't bring my own cash... so I couldn't sneak a shot of tequila when I went to the bathroom?

Overall... the date was a dud. He fumbled a little as he gave me a hug goodbye and definitely got the cheek when he tried to plant one on me.

All in all it was a learning experience. Do not let your ex boyfriends pick new boyfriends for you.
No matter what they say, they are trying to get back at you.
I can honestly say... that was the first battle Mr. Tequila Train ever won. 

P.s. I should really stick to normal forms of transportation. Maybe a nice bike ride?


Nobody said...

Ahahahaaa! This MADE my day!!! (:

arianapia said...

it's the thought that counts?

naaaahhhh, boat cruises are not for the newly together, let alone a semi blind date!

at least you stuck it out, i would have hid in the bathroom claiming seasickness!

Sarah said...

Can I tell you how much I love this little series you are doing? It's always fun to hear how you aren't the only one dating weirdos. This guy sounds like another guy that I recently went out with...but mine wasn't as bad. I told this guy on date #1 that I wasn't looking for anything serious and that I just wanted to date around....and he said that was cool. Well apparently not because this kid actually asked me to go to his company Christmas party. And I felt bad, so I went. Let me tell you that we were the only ones there that weren't married or engaged. Super awkward. I finally had to tell the kid I couldn't handle it anymore. Ah, sorry for the long story but I just thought you might enjoy a laugh :)

dottie said...

Yes, lesson learned!! I love this series your doing!!

Young and Fabulous said...

first, love your patti millionaire matchmaker reference!! LOVE!!

hahah sabrina i felt so awkward for you reading this!!! deff a learning experience hahah

im sure one of those old men had some tequila for their wives dragging them on this voyage hahaha

i just love you :-)


p.V.e said...

I love this series that you've been doing! It makes me understand that everybody has had bad dates!

My-cliffnotes said...

This story is awesome, and I feel for you. On the one and only blind date I ever went on I played frisbee in a parking lot because the le-douche guilted me into not going home and I refused to let him know where I lived. Awful. lol


Sami said...

These posts are so funny! I really think I should do something similar. I have some lovely jems of stories that would shock most people haha!

Ashley said...

they are trying to get back at you....haha SO true. oh my gosh sabrina...this story is crazy!!

and i hate, hate hate being set up! because it's always someone's friend or relative that they obviously like (or ex boyfriend...you know) and then you have to tell them that for some reason you don't like them....awkward!!!

like selenga gomez sings...."who says i can't be single....i have to go out and mingle?" haha. ok, so dorky. i'm going now!

you're the best! muah!

xo, A

Anonymous said...

Love your stories! You honestly just made me laugh out loud at work while reading this! Thank for making my day better, hehe. =D

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